It's been a while

I was reminded on Wednesday that it had been a while since I last blogged. I guess it doesn't even really matter. I do this more for me than I do for attention from readers but I had to admit I missed it and it is therapeutic to make a record of where I am at or funny things going on. Wednesday, I was reminded it had been awhile when my clinical professor asked me the ever famous blog title, "Are ya'll crazy?" For her it was in relation to the fact that she asked me to tell her something interesting about myself. I gave a basic little tidbit. She asked if I was from Houston. I informed her that I was from Houston, Dallas, Spring, met my husband in St. Louis, that sort of thing. She noticed that I said I was married and asked if I had any kids. I sooooo knew this was coming. "Yes, I have 5 actually". The gasps came from the group of 20 somethings who are still amazed they have to do their own laundry if they don't live with their moms and then it came-the crazy question.

I don't know why it bothers me. It just does. Why does being blessed with 5 precious, healthy, funny, cool, and considerate children make me mentally altered? A 20 year old can forget to pay their bills for 7 months, or eat pizza for 9 days straight, or spend their last dime on a Brittney Spears concert ticket and that is just age appropriate behavior. I give birth and I've somehow experienced a break with reality. But alas, here I am.

I am able to totally recognize that I am the most blessed person on the face of the planet. Jenasis turned 6 this week. I remember the moment they told me she had a knot in her cord, membranes inhaled to her face and hadn't been "squeezed" enough to get the fluid out of her lungs and they were taking her immediately to NICU Level III. Wow-that was crazy! She is such a fighter! Sheer determination kept that girl fighting for every solid breath of air she could get. God gave her the exact personality she needs to make it in this world and I am so proud of her. I am crazy about her! Crazy in love with every little thing that makes her, Grace with a double G!

This past Saturday, the baby of one of my favorite families turned one. I realized how crazy it is that I have been given friends that are truly as good as family! They love my kids the way I love them. They accept us for our faults as well as our strengths. They allow us the room to grow and learn in our relationships. They celebrate with us when we celebrate and we cry together when we're hurting and no matter what we know that it will always be okay. I know that time or place doesn't matter we will stick together.

On Tuesday, my mom will celebrate her birthday. I am crazy proud of my mama! She has no clue that she is my inspiration, my Godly example and one of the people I care most about what they think. I am so blessed that God choose to make me her baby.

Unfortunately, I can never say all this to the person that asks the crazy question. I think it every time. I am disappointed that there are no words to make people get it. So I simply press on through the conversation and pray for a time when I can help them see-Crazy is a relative term.

One-Eyed Willie

Okay, so it has been a while since I posted but I needed to take a study break and I've been having that "are we crazy" question running through my head and thought this would be a great thing to add to my memories. We're getting a new dog this week. For those of you that don't know we have two already-Warner and Bonnie but we're adding a third. We couldn't resist him and that is all there is to it. Okay there is more :-) Sorry about the sun. There will be cuter pics I promise but this one is the moment that made up our minds. Ruthie is holding a dog first of all which is crazy in and of itself and second, she begged us for him. Ruthie is not known to be our animal lover and interacts as limitedly as possible with the animals we already possess. Yet, she bonded with this puppy immediately. He's a year old and he was rescued from the Love's Truck stop just outside of Katy west of I-10. Jane Hoskins, is a friend of ours and has always been super kind and special to us and especially the kids. She found him and had his eye repaired and was taking care of him when we feel in love. We went to her place to go fishing and and came back obsessed with that one-eyed dog. She had been calling him Max but that didn't seem to fit. Ruthie sat right in the chair holding him and said, "I'm putting him on my birthday list". I asked her why and she told me, "because I'm the only one in our family who really understands what it is like for him to be different, because I'm the only one who can't see like the others and can't do things the same all the time". (Mother's heart breaking at these words that reveal my child's true emotions about how she sees herself) I told her we'd have to pray about it. We went home and for two days ALL of us could not get this puppy out of our heads. EVEN JASON! Sooooo...we called Jane and asked if he could come for a "weekend visitation". We of course wanted to make sure he fit in at our house as well as he did at hers and also to make sure Warner and Bonnie wouldn't be displaced by adding another canine to the mix. It was a fun weekend and while we tossed Sammy around as a name choice after Sammy Davis Jr. of course, Jason suggested Willie after Goonies one of his and my favorites and we were all sold at once ( We have brilliant children who decided that if Daddy liked the name maybe he'd like the dog enough to let them keep it) So, he left on Sunday to go finish up his treatments with promises to return in two weeks. During these two weeks (which has stretched into three but by God's perfect design) I have often found myself thinking, "we must be crazy!"

Yet, on April 5th, God again revealed His perfect design for His provision in His way. As I mentioned earlier Ruthie is all about this dog. She counts down the days till he is suppossed to come and she talks about why she loves him and how cute he is and all that she wants to do to take care of him when he gets here. On April 5th, Ruthie had to have her appendix removed and while it is a minor surgery in my nursing brain, it is catastrophic in my mommy heart. Another surgery for her? Really, God? If only I can see the big picture that He sees for my precious unique little girl. The second she woke up, I praised God again for this one-eyed special little dog. She opened her eyes and we asked her how she did and she said, "It's over? I don't remember having surgery yet. I need to do everything they say to get better though because I need to be well enough to take care of Willie when he gets home." That just brought such joy to my heart not because it is realistic or necessary, like we won't all help take care of whatever she needs, but that Our God loves us enough to give us that one bright spot to see us through our trials. For Ruthie, it is that silly pup and for me it is my silly little Ruthie. All my kids really, but for her in that special Ruthie section of my heart, I know she wants me to be a nurse-at UT nurse. She is so proud of me and so I keep on for her and the sacrifices that they all make for me to do this. Yes, they'll benefit from it in the end but really, really, their now is a sacrfice. They do extra housework, they live in a house where mom can't keep it June Clever quality and they make no apologies, they go to 2 churches and don't complain and they entertain the littles while I can't. The night before they did surgery we had been in two ER's for 8 hours and after we signed off on the surgery consents Ruthie tells Jason and I-"It's okay if I die, because my life here is just a short part and I'll go to sleep here and wake up with Jesus". While that blesses my socks off to hear as a Christian, as a Mom I want to run and scream over my dead body!!! Yet, all I could do is let God do His will and know that Ruthie has her own testimony and her own walk, in life or in death. My greatest fear is losing one of my kiddos and this was all to close for comfort. It wasn't like we're all sitting around doing bible study and she says something like that. This was crunch time. I had just signed papers that said I understood that one of the potential complications of this surgery was DEATH!!! Yet, God is Peace and He gave the Holy Spirit that intercedes on the behalf of the Saints and we had people praying and we knew it. God was good and merciful to me and my selfish desire to keep her here with me was allowed and we REJOICED!!!!

So once again, I've been presented with that ever present question in my life, "Are ya'll crazy?" and once again I'm reminded of the verse in 2nd Corinthians that says, "If I be out of my mind, let it be for the Lord". Amen to that and thank you God for One Eyed- Willie.

Thankful for Time

One of the reasons I am told we're crazy is because we squeeze lots of stuff into little amounts of time. I've found this to be annoying at times too but basically I'm thankful for each moment.

I've spent the last three days in a cozy little room at the Missouri Veterans home where my Grandpa has spent the last 5 years growing older and bravely fighting the most horrific disease, Alzheimer's. I hate that disease. It is a stealer of time. Where so many diseases steal a person's future and that is horrific of course, Alzheimer's steals the past, the present and the future.

Fortunately, God is a God who heals and restores. So all that was lost temporarily has been made new. The old has passed away and my Grandpa is a new creation. He was a great Grandfather and a man of service and sacrifice. He knew the meaning of hard work and loving. He would have celebrated his 59th wedding anniversary today. I count it as 59 even though he died 23 minutes before making it official. He only loved my Grandma his entire life. He taught me something even in his death. To fight strong till the end and to cherish each moment, even the painful ones.

First Things First

Okay, so this is obviously a big day for me and Jason. SUPERBOWL 43-Now don't stop reading because you think this is about football. It's not about football at all....okay, not really, maybe sort of...okay seriously, I mean really!

We've waited patiently for Kurt Warner to be in the Superbowl for a long time and really believed that he would be here. Many think "are ya'll crazy?" :-) Of course, we're used to that as I've previously mentioned. Many think its because we're that into football. Many people think we just need to get lives. You may be thinking all of those things.

Here is the real scoop. We're this pumped and fanatical about Kurt Warner because he's an icon of our lives to us. Yes, he is a great football player. Yes, he is a patient and humble man. Why we relate? Because yes, we are crazy. Just like Kurt and Brenda. He presses on in a business that proclaims his abilities and talents as unmatched, yet benches him. They talk about what a great husband and Dad he is, but then are amazed by and critical of the fact that he has 7 children (What is he, crazy?). They proclaim him as a man of faith and tout their respect for the man of integrity that he is and then they use it to mock him.

We just relate.

Yes, for us it isn't just the surface levels of they get a little bit what we're going through. We hope it is our response as well. We hope that people see in us that no matter what the "world" says we just want to keep doing what God has called us on this earth to do. We hope that no matter what lies are put out there about how we should be doing life, we just seek what God wants. We want to stand on the World Stage that God has for us -in the good times, in the bad, in the successes and in the failures and say "Glory to God in the Highest Great Things He has done. Glory to God because if it wasn't for Jesus Christ, I wouldn't be here".

Despite what many think, this is not an idolization it is an inspiration. Despite the doubters, despite the mockery of faith, Kurt just keeps being Kurt and loving God, carrying his Bible into a locker room AND reading it; Kurt just keeps loving people despite their humanness...now isn't that something even Steeler's fans can appreciate :-)

In the the Words of Kurt Warner and his Foundation:

First Things First

Matthew 6:33

"But seek first His kingdom and His Righteousnesss, and all these things will be given to you as well."

Getting Started

Well, people keep telling me I need to write a book. Seeing as how I'm crazy and all for even trying this-I thought I might just start with a blog. That and all my friends are doing it! Just kidding, well not really, they are all doing it but that has never been my style to follow the trend. Since you might be totally unfamiliar with my story, here is the brief run down and the backstory to the journey that we're going to start together.

I was 17 years old when I met my future husband. At nineteen we were married. At 20 pregnant with our first child. 11 months after Ra (pronounced Ray) was born, Ru came along. In 2001, Ki joined the pic, followed by JG in 2003. Ikey man rounded out the crew in 2006. When JG was 8 months old I started back to college for my nursing degree. We moved to Texas in 2004 and in 2008, I finally started the last two years, the clinical years of my nursing degree. We started homeschooling our kids in 2005 (here is where people start with the "are ya'll serious" which will in moments lead to "are ya'll crazy?"). My husband is a teacher full-time and a worship leader/guitarist part-time. We volunteer at church and in community activities and we always make time for family and friends.

I go to school full-time during the day. Mom in the evenings and study at night. I hope that gives you a little background and hopefully we'll find some humor from here. I don't know how personal I'll ever get but it will always be real. I'd write more now but I have 5 kids and I'm in nursing school, so well frankly, I don't have the time! Have a great day and welcome to my crazy life!